Damned if I Do, Dead if I Don't
The story of my life

Signs to recognize which can save your life, a loved one or of someone

DV info

Domestic Violence Crime Watch
Because domestic violence homicides often have a combination of predictable factors, they are frequently referred to as a “preventable crime”. This list includes factors that authorities frequently find to have been present in a homicide vi…ctim’s relationship history with their killer. If you or someone you know has a partner or former partner who displays some combination of the following factors, there is likely a very high risk of danger.
• Your partner, or former partner has threatened to injure or kill you, themselves, or others or they have described how, where or when they would injure or kill you.
• They have used, or you believe they are capable of using severe levels of violence (punching you, kicking you, strangling you, banging your head against things or any other violent action that could cause serious injury, disfigurement, or has the potential to end your life.)
• They have used weapons to threaten or harm you or have threatened to harm you with weapons in the past.
• Their use of threats or violence is escalating.
• They are obsessed with you.
• They are unwilling to accept you breaking off the relationship or have forbid you to break it off. • They do not take responsibility for their contribution to problems and blame you for all problems.
• They are hostile/angry/enraged toward you or your loved ones or are out to get revenge.
• They are experiencing deep depression or are distraught or despondent.
• They have gone to extreme lengths to trap you in the relationship (they have isolated you from your family or friends, prevented you from going to school or having a job, have limited or cut off access to money or resources or your activities are monitored very closely).
• They are extremely controlling (trying to control what you do, who you have contact with, where you go, what you wear, etc..)
• They are extremely jealous or possessive (closely monitors your activities to limit or prevent contact with others or won’t allow you to be anywhere without them).
• They perceive you as property or believe they own you (May say things like “If I can’t have you no one can.” or “If you leave me, I’ll kill you.” or “You don’t have the right to leave me.”).
• They are extremely dependent on you.
• They are obsessed with guns or other weapons (including fire/arson).
• They have access to guns or other weapons (in combination with other high risk factors).
• They have a history of abusing children.
• They have injured or killed pets.
• They have previously made suicide attempts or have threatened to commit suicide.
• They don’t care what happens to themselves.
• They use alcohol or drugs (in combination with other high risk factors).
• They have held you or your loved ones hostage.
• They have no fear of police or court involvement (they have had repeated arrests, court appearances, or jail time but it does not deter them)
• They stalk you (usually when you are trying to break from the relationship or after you have ended it; stalking is when a person intentionally and repeatedly follows or harasses you and has made a credible threat, either expressed or implied, with the intent to place you in reasonable fear of death or serious bodily harm).
• They have a history of criminal behavior, especially crimes that involve threatening behavior or violence. • They are mentally/emotionally unstable.
• They are willing to use violence against you in front of others or in public.
• They have used violence against people other than you.
• They do not see their behavior as a problem or they have no desire to stop their abusive behavior.
• You believe they might be capable of killing you and/or someone else.
If you, or anyone you know is in a high risk domestic violence situation, PLEASE, don’t wait until it’s too late. Reach out for any and all help available to you in your area. You can find many resources on our website’s Resource page… http://www.dvcrimewatch.com/resources In addition to your local resources, you may also want to consider joining the Community Board “Recognizing and Dealing With Domestic Abuse” on iVillage.com… http://www.ivillage.com/recognizing-and-dealing-domestic-abuse-ivillage-community/6-a-126537 This wonderful community can offer you ongoing support as you navigate through a very threatening situation. They can help you explore your options, assist you with safety planning information, help you find resources in your area, and offer you emotional support as you work to get yourself into the strongest position possible to get out of an abusive relationship safely. This community board is not a substitute for the assistance you can get in your own community, but it can be a good source in addition to local services.  ~c