Damned if I Do, Dead if I Don't
The story of my life

Reviews incl. Kirkus Indie Review



Here are some reviews of my book

           “Damned if I Do, Dead if I Don’t”.




Bonde, Hannah

AuthorHouse (244 pp.)

$26.99 hardcover, $16.99 paperback

ISBN: 978-1467037297; October 3, 2011


The compelling memoir of a young Swedish woman’s journey from a neglected childhood to an abusive marriage and eventually to freedom from violence in the United States.

For 15 years, Bonde lived in fear of the man she had loved and married, whom she had met at a mall in Gothenburg when she was 15. Wisely starting her story with their first meeting, Bonde then backtracks to her childhood outside Gothenburg in the 1970s. Overlooked by parents who were distracted by their own divorce, embarrassed by her father’s renown as the first man to bring strip clubs to Sweden, and raped at 13 by an associate of her father’s, Bonde found refuge among the gentle druggies at the local mall. When she met 16-year-old Jared, she thought she’d found true love.

But their meeting drew her into a cycle of abuse and violence that took more than a decade to escape. Bringing readers step by step through the stages of abuse—from Jared’s initial tenderness to his intense jealousy, his abrupt violence and remorse, his increasingly dangerous threats and his eventual imprisonment of her—Bonde portrays the psychology that inclines victims of violence to stay. Short chapters with descriptive subtitles keep the story moving forward, despite the somewhat cumbersome device of dated entries that characterizes the latter half of the book. Intended to help other victims of domestic violence, Bonde’s memoir documents a pervasive social reality, reminding readers that domestic violence crosses economic, social and national boundaries. While her book lacks the polish of literature (e.g., with occasionally awkward phrasings and summary that overpowers some scenes), Bonde’s story provides a fascinating window onto Swedish domestic life. Like a well-edited diary, its details accumulate into a gripping portrait nearly as startling as a Stieg Larsson novel. Challenging the stereotype of Swedish society as socially and sexually progressive, Bonde reveals a culture riven by broken marriages, mistresses, drug abuse and violence. Her memoir will be of particular interest to readers and collections seeking first-person accounts of contemporary Swedish life for women.

An engaging, if rough-hewn, memoir of escape from domestic abuse in Sweden.

Kirkus Indie, Kirkus Media LLC, 6411 Burleson Rd., Austin, TX 78744




“This book is an honest and captivating story of a young girl who falls victim to a sadistic boyfriend but succeeds to rebuild her life using her inner strength, optimism and trust for a better life. This book is inspirational and should be added to “must read” list for all high school classes”.  By F.F.G

“This real life based story in this book really took me on a ride. It is an  amazing story about a young woman being abused emotionally and physically, and the long ride it took for her to be able to try to get out of it. All her thoughts and life struggles for 15 years. This book is a must read. I could not put this book down once I started, and i’m not really a book reader. If I start  reading a book it must catch my interest right away. If not, I will put it down. Believe me, this book catches you right away and you will get hooked until the end. This book is a must read for everybody and anyone!” By E.J

Compelling, heartfelt, honest, inspiring,
 September 4, 2012 By Claudia.P 

“I Ordered this book after reading its description on Amazon. As a mother of two women, and a friend to  many, I found Hannah’s story to be sad and hopeful. A true and uplifting story about a woman finding herself after fleeing abuse and starting a new a full life. A must read for every woman.”



5.0 out of 5 stars A brutally honest book about abuse that might save your life if you are in a similar situation!, January 17, 2013
This review is from: Damned If I Do, Dead If I Don’t

If you are looking for a well-edited book, written in perfect English, don’t read this book. But, if you are looking for a brutally honest account of a woman who grew up at the hands of sexual, mental, and emotional abuse, then you must read this shocking account of Hannah’s life. As a very young girl of 13, Hannah was sexually abused by a family friend. There was no one to help her. Her parents were never there for her. And, as is often the case, Hannah fell into other abusive situations, all the while thinking that things would change, that she was somehow responsible for the terrible turn her life had taken. Hannah endured 15 years of this life, unable to face the truth and break free. You will read about a woman whose life was literally seconds from ending and how she finally gathered the courage to save herself.
Hannah’s weakness ultimately turned her into a very strong, determined woman who was finally able to take control of her life. To do what had to be done, and to do it alone, took enormous courage! This book is a must read for anyone who is or has been a victim of abuse. If Hannah’s book helps just one other person escape the horror of abuse, then her efforts will have been well spent!



Tog mig lång tid innan jag läste boken. Ville kunna ta in allt som stod i den. När jag väl börjat läsa var det många gånger jag la boken åt sidan och bara grät. Det är ju min lillasyster och jag önskar jag kunnat göra mer. Den gick rakt in i mitt hjärta.

(It took a long time before I read the book. I wanted to be able to truly understand and take in everything that was written in it. Once I started to read, there were times I had to put the book down because my eyes got filled with tears and they wouldn’t stop. It’s about my little sister and I wish I could’ve done more.  The book went straight into my heart!)